Lately, I’ve been confused about love.
Not because I don’t believe in it — I do, deeply. I know love is real. I know it’s powerful. I know God is love. But somewhere between all the posts, podcasts, threads, and hot takes, I started second-guessing what love is supposed to look like… and feel like.
There’s advice everywhere.
“Don’t text back too soon.”
“Make him chase you.”
“Don’t be too emotional.”
“Be high value.”
“Soft life, hard boundaries.”
“Match energy, not effort.”
“Play the game, or be played.”
Whew.
It’s exhausting.
Some of it sounds wise. Some of it is rooted in fear. And most of it… doesn’t feel like love at all.
Sometimes I wonder: Are we protecting our hearts or hardening them?
Are we building boundaries or building walls?
Are we guarding our hearts as Proverbs 4:23 says — “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” — or are we just scared to be seen, known, or hurt?
I’m a woman who feels deeply. Who still believes in love that’s kind, consistent, and Christlike, but I’ll be honest: the noise is messing with me. The “rules” are turning what should be an honest connection into a performance. And the pressure to be strategic instead of sincere? It’s draining.
I don’t want to date like it’s a business deal.
I don’t want to love like I’m playing chess.
I don’t want to hide my heart behind a persona just to be chosen.
I want peace in love — not confusion.
And God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33). So maybe that’s my sign. To step back. To stop consuming endless “dating hacks” and start listening to the still small voice of the One who made me. The One who knows what I need. The One who writes the best love stories — even the unconventional ones.
Maybe I don’t need another list of what to do or not do.
Maybe I need stillness.
Maybe I need discernment.
Maybe I need to let go of the fear of getting it wrong… and trust that if I keep my heart aligned with God, I’ll recognize the kind of love that’s meant for me — not the love I have to chase, beg for, or perform to keep.
So yeah, I’m confused. But I’m also learning.
And maybe that’s okay.
Because clarity doesn’t always come from scrolling.
Sometimes it comes from silence, surrender, and sacred patience.
—
With love and honesty,
Chidaallu
